| Author |
Message |
    
Donga_evaru
Desanike Pedda Bewarse
Username: Donga_evaru
Post Number: 6152
Registered: 08-2004
Posted From: 134.130.240.171
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 1:19 pm: |    |
WOMEN  |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1732
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 1:13 pm: | |
Here are the top 10 things that men understand about women:
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
 |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1729
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 1:09 pm: | |
Why Beers are Better Than Women
-------------------------------------------
1. You always know if you are the first one to open a beer.
2. A beer never gets jealous if you grab another beer.
3. A beer never gets angry if you arrive smelling of beer.
4. The colder a beer, the better.
5. You can always share a beer with your friends.
6. A beer does not get upset if you arrive at 3 a.m.
7. You can choose a beer from a box, and if you change your mind, you can pick another one. |
Donga_evaru
Desanike Pedda Bewarse
Username: Donga_evaru
Post Number: 6145
Registered: 08-2004
Posted From: 134.130.240.171
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 1:08 pm: | |
 |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1726
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 1:04 pm: | |
Understanding Women
----------------------------
This guy is walking on the beach somewhere in California. He sees a lamp, rubs it, and a Genie comes out. The genie is so happy that he decides
to grant one wish to the lucky guy.
The guy thinks about it and says, "I'd like you to build a highway to Hawaii because I am afraid to fly. The genie responds that this can't be done because it would be technologically impossible considering the depth of the ocean and the distance to Hawaii. So he asks the guy to wish for something else.
The guy thinks about it and, very enthusiastically, wishes he would understand women.
The genie than said, "Do you want your highway to have 2 or 4 lanes?" |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1678
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 9:44 pm: | |
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1673
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 9:27 pm: | |
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING. |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1654
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 8:47 pm: | |
Secrets of a Happy Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in NewYork.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!
9. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1645
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:47 pm: | |
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1644
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:35 pm: | |
 |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1643
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:35 pm: | |
To make a woman happy..... a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Leave him alone!. |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1642
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:27 pm: | |
 chala undhi translate chesedhi...women dhi ante chala easy..annintiki opposite....kani men dhi chala kastam...chala analysis cheyyali ...
|
Kvs
Vooriki Bewarse
Username: Kvs
Post Number: 4675
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 4.252.241.243
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:23 pm: | |
meaning ae lekapote inka translations avasaram antaara |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1641
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:22 pm: | |
---------- TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH:---------
Not now ...  ...
later  |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1640
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:20 pm: | |
KVS garu ...
|
Kvs
Vooriki Bewarse
Username: Kvs
Post Number: 4672
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 4.253.47.221
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:17 pm: | |
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later ///
idi ultimate undi |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1639
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 5:15 pm: | |
TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH
-----------------------------------------
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
Does my bum look big in this? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like |
Zebra
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Zebra
Post Number: 70
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 24.2.255.113
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 4:16 pm: | |
>>Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
 |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1633
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 3:41 pm: | |
WORDS WOMEN USE
---------------------------------
FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine." |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1632
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 3:38 pm: | |
WOMAN
The best way of describing a woman is to use a ball.
At 18, she is a football - 22 men going after her.
At 28, she is a hockey ball - 8 men after her.
At 38, she is a golf ball - 1 man after her.
At 48, she is a Ping-Pong ball - 2 men pushing to each other.
MAN
The best way of describing a man is to compare him to fruits.
At 20 - A man is like a coconut; so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian; dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a water-melon; big, round & juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange; the season comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin; dried out, wrinkled & cheap. |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1631
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 3:30 pm: | |
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Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1630
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 3:29 pm: | |
17 FEMALE RULES
-------------------------------------------------
1.The female makes the rules.
2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior
notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules
are not permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules,
she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding
which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do,
or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having
been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female
as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason
at all.
9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances
without the express written consent of the female which is given only in
cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no
indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or
imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole
judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of
the root cause of the female's being angry or pset. The female may,
however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying
attention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to
be angry or upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or
indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset.
13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times.
Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the
sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past
incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify,
enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to
the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive,
pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to
illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the
consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has
bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports
teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such
illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is
permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to
logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought,
opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective
interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding.
Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or
rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy
and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances,
especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition. |
Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1629
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 3:28 pm: | |
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Loverboy
Bewarse
Username: Loverboy
Post Number: 1628
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 24.166.186.145
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 3:27 pm: | |
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3 . Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lent, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
41. Anyone can buy condoms. |
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