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Bewarse Talk � Archives � Bewarse Bewarse � Archive through May 21, 2004 � Jokes Jokes & Jokes � Previous Next �

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Gaali
Censor Bewarse
Username: Gaali

Post Number: 1220
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 199.26.230.102

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 4:02 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Manchiabbai,

Mama WTC joke baagundi.
Dum maro Dum, Mit jaye gam. Bolo subah sham, Hare Super Hare Star!
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 17
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their Medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.

So on the next Sunday morning few minutes Before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden Crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil

Just when the clock struck 11...

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 16
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:57 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'

'Haan' replies shopowner.

Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 15
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Once Santa Singh calls up his girl friend and says 'Come home! There's no one at home!'

So the girlfriend is very excited and rushes to his house... only to realize that there's actually NOBODY at home!
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 14
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:55 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A Chinese couple was about to have their first baby.

When the baby was born, eyes were wide and big, her hair curly and skin dark brown - all quite unlike Chinese.

So the father named the baby 'Sum Ting Rong'!
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 13
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!)

Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:54 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure you that we had nothing in connection with that...

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 12
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:53 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

In the future India is hosting the Olympics finally. The Prime Minister is a Santa Singh and started a speech at the opening ceremonies. He began as follows:

'Oh....'

'Ooooo....'

'Oh....'

'Ooo....'

'Ooohh.'

Until one of his advisors quietly pointed out that the Olympic symbol was not a part of the speech to read.
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 11
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:51 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A man sat at the bar totally dejected. The bartender served him his second drink and said, 'What's wrong pal?'

'I'll never understand women.' he said. 'The other night my wife threw me a birthday party. She told me that later on, as her gift to me, I could do with her whatever I wanted.'

'Wow!' said the bartender. 'But why so unhappy? That sounds like quite a gift to me.'

'Well, ' the man went on, 'I thought about it and sent her home to her Mother. Now she won't even speak to me.'
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 10
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Banta Singh saw an exhausted Santa Singh running up to him.

'What happened to you Santaji?'

'There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today.'

'Oh really, what happened?'

'I was just walking quietly wearing this red shirt, when the aniimal came charging at me like a locomotive! He almost got me!'

'So, how'd you get away?'

'Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over.'

'That's scary Santaji. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place.'

'Oye! I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?'
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Manchiabbai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Manchiabbai

Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 192.25.42.225

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

excellent
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Steelplantbabai
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Steelplantbabai

Post Number: 11
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 131.188.150.198

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 9:38 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

iragadeestunnav kada
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 44
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:33 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

More Jokes Watchout


Your comments Please

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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 43
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:25 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

1 Have you ever read Shakespeare?
Sardar: No, who wrote it?

2 Why did 18 SARDARJIS go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed

3 How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

4 What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his
ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

5 Why do Sardarjis work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 42
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:24 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as

to why are the guys doing what they are doing

The bystander: "A Marathon race is going on".

Sardar : "What do they get from that?"

Bystander : The winner will get a prize

Sardar : Then why are the others running?!

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a

Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to

ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that

answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him,

"Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The

Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man

arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied

"Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who

then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the

same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have

some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me

tomorrow."

When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview

?".

Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already

investigating a murder.
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 41
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!)

Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:21 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A lady from second floor asked the
banana vendor shouting on the street
" Kela kaise diya ? "

Ans : 8 rupaye ke 12...

lady says : 13 (tera) deta hai to upar aaja...
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 40
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:14 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Seeing God
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?"

God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction ,and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured ,she might as well make the most of it.

She was released from the hospital but while crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that car?"

God Replied,"I didn't recognize you."
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 39
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

Rating: 
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:05 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A female computer consultant was helping a smug male, set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass the female, he told her to enter "penis." Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:

***Password Rejected -- Not Long Enough***
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 38
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 7:03 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A man was carrying two babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train. Along came this woman seeing the two cute babies started asking the man,

"Aren’ t they cute, what are their names?"

The man gave the lady an angry look and replied,

"I don’t know."

The lady asked again,

"Which is the boy and which is the girl?"

The man looking angrier than before replied,

"I don’t know."

The woman then started to scold the man,

"What kind of a father are you?"

The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are two complaints that I am taking back to my company."
__________________
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 37
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

Rating: 
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

santa: kyon banta, is baar kisko vote diya

banta: hema malini ko, par yaar, mazaa nahin aaya

santa: kyon?

banta: pehle to DAALNE dete they, is baar sirf DABAANE diya
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 36
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

somebody pressed priyanka's boobs in a election rally

police complaint was made

prinka tells the police - i am sure the BJP is involved in this

police asks - how can u b sure?

priyanka - bcos i FEEL GOOD !!

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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 35
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A neighbor lady friend in an apartment house was asking Sunanda, "Why it is so that your husband sometimes calls you Darling, or Anarkali, or Bitch?"

Sunanda explained, "Well, my husband has a habit of drinking, and when he comes home from the English Bar with English drink he calls me "Hei Darling!"

The negihbor asked "Then what about Anarkali?"

She said " Well, when he drinks desi liquor from desi pitha he calls me, Hey Anarkali!"

Neighbour exclaimed, "Oh, that is great you must be enjoying it." Now why does he call you Bitch then?"

Sunanda explained, "Well, when he is sober and not drunk, he calls me Bitch."
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 34
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:52 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Bill Clinton, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the
smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. George Bush, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken."
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 33
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:47 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Observing a light across the water,the captain had his signalman instruct the other vessel to change her course ten degrees south.

The response was prompt:"Change your course ten degrees north."

"I am a captain," he responded testily."Change your course ten degrees south."

The reply: "I'm a seaman first class--change your course north."

The captain was furious. "Change your course now. I'm on a battleship."

"No Sir ! Change your course ten degrees north, I'm in a lighthouse!"
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 32
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:46 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home forsupper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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Proofdada
Bewarse ke Bewarse!
Username: Proofdada

Post Number: 2714
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 80.121.144.9

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:23 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

babai nee cheesthiki rest ivvavaa..
Okka post cheesthee Vandha postlu cheesinattee BewarseDada
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 31
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:22 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
"A jack," says the little boy.
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 30
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:21 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

presenting for the uninitiated........some commonly used acronyms from the sms lingo:

A
AAMOF as a matter of fact
ABT about
ADN any day now
AFAIK as far as I know
AKA also known as
ANFSCD and now for something completely different
ASAP as soon as possible
AYPI? and your point is?
ATB all the best
AFK Away From Keyboard
ATK At The Keyboard
ATM At The Moment
A3 Anytime, Anywhere, Anyplace

B
B4 before
B4 bye for now
B4N Bye For Now
BAK Back At Keyboard
BBL Be Back Later
BBS be back soon
BCNU be seeing you
BF or B/F boyfriend
BFN bye for now
BRB Be Right Back
BRT Be Right There
BTDT been there done that
BTOBS be there or be square
BTW by the way

C
CWOT complete waste of time
CWYL chat with you later
CUIMD see you in my dreams
CU See You
CYA See You
CUL8R see you later

D
DTRT do the right thing
DXRNE dictionary
DYK do you know

E
EOD end of discussion
4EVRYRS For ever yours

F
F2F face to face
FAQ frequently asked questions
FC Fingers Crossed
FOAF friend of a friend
FOC free of charge
FWIW for what it's worth
FYEO for your eyes only
FYI for your information

G
G9 Genius
G&BIT grin & bear it
G2G or GG got to go
GAL get a life
GBH great big hug
GF or G/F girlfriend
GG good game
GMTA great minds think alike
GOK god only knows
GOWI get on with it
GR8 great

H
HAG1 have a good one
HIH hope it helps
HSIK how should I know
HAND have a nice day

I
IAC in any case
IC I see
ICQ I seek you
IDTT I'll drink to that
IGTP I get the point
IJWTK I just want to know
ILU I Love You
IMO in my opinion
IMHO In My Honest/Humble Opinion
INPO in no particular order
IOW in other words
IRL In Real Life
IUSS If you say so

J
JAM just a minute
JIC just in case
JK just kidding
JTLYK just to let you know

K
KHYF know how you feel
KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid
KIT keep in touch
KUTGW keep up the good work

L
L8RG8R later gator
LDR Long Distance Relationship
LL&P live long & prosper
LMAO Laugh My Ass Off
LNK love and kisses
LOL laugh out loud
LTNS long time no see
L8R Later
LtsGt2gthr lets get together

M
M8 Mate
MTE My Thoughts Exactly
M$UlkeCrZ miss you like crazy

N
NOYB none of your business
NE any
NRN No Reply Necessary
NE1 anyone

O
OBTW oh, by the way
OIC Oh I See
OMG oh my god
OTOH on the other hand

P
PCM please call me
PITA Pain In The A*8
PPL people
PRW Parents Are Watching
PRT party

Q
QPSA? que pasa?
QT cutie

R
RU? are you?
ROFL Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROFLOL Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud
ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off
RUOK? are you ok?

S
SOHF sense of humour failure
SME1 someone
SK8 Skate
STATS Your sex and age
SWALK sent with a loving kiss

T
THX thank you
TMI too much information
TTFN Ta-Ta For Now!
TTYL Talk To You Later
TOY thinking of you
TXTIN texting

U
U You
U2 You Too
U4E Yours For Ever
URT1 you are the one

V
VBS very big smile

W
WB Welcome Back
W8AM wait a minute
WB welcome back
WYSIWYG what you see is what you get
WTF What The F...
WAN2 want to
WTG Way To Go!
WUF Where Are You From?
W8 Wait...
WUWH wish you were here

X
XLNT excellent

Y
7K Sick
YBS you'll be sorry

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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 29
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:17 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Not Exactly A Joke.. But Makes a Nice Reading
________________________________________________
A mother and a baby camel were lazing around, and suddenly the baby camel asked...
Baby : Mother, mother, can I ask you some question?
Mother : Sure! why son, is there something bothering you?
Baby : Why do camel have humps?
Mother : Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are
known to survive without water.
Baby : Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?
Mother : Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone! Said the mother proudly.
Baby : Okay, then why are our eye lashes long? Sometimes it is bothering my sight.
Mother : My son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind. Said mother camel with eyes brimming with pride.
Baby : I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in the zoo???

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: SKILLS, KNOWLEDGE, ABILITIES AND EXPERIENCES ARE ONLY USEFUL IF YOU ARE AT THE RIGHT PLACE.
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 28
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:16 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there is 55 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 27
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.196

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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 6:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

IT Profiles of Puranic Characters (Hindu Mythology)

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Brahma : Systems Installation


Vishnu : Systems Support


Lakshmi : Finance and Accounts consultant (SAP)


Shiva : DBA (crash specialist)


Ganesh : Documentation specialist


Narada : Data Transfer


Brihaspathi : Chief Information Officer.


Yama : ReOrganisation Consultant


ChitraGupta : Personnel Records


Apsaras : Downloadable Viruses


Devas : Y2k Programmers


Surya : Solaris adminstrator


Rakshasas : In house Hackers


Ram : Hardware Support - single user specialist


Lakshman : Support software and Backup


Ravan : Internet Explorer - WWW


Hanuman : RS6000


Vali : Windows 98


Sugreeva : Win *


Angadh : Win 3.1


Jambhuvan : DOS


Vishwamitra : Sr.Manager Projects


Hastinapur : Silicon Valley


Arjun : Lead Programer (all Companies are Vying for him)


Abhimanyu : Trainee Programmer


Draupadi : Web server - free access (Shareware)


Bhima : MAIN FRAME


Duryodhan : Microsoft product written in VB


Shakuni : Bill Gates


Karna : Contract Programmer


Shikandi : Steve Jobbs


* 100 Kauravas : Microsoft Service Packs and Patches

-------------------------------
Disclaimer
Only Pure Fun Intended. Never intended to hurt the religious feelings of any one.
Enjoy.. and only Enjoy
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 26
Registered: 03-2004
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 5:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

YOUR LIFE AND INDIAN AD LINES

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Your parents are insisting you to get married to a girl and they show photos of girls of their choice....
DHIKHAVE PE NA JAAO APNI AKAL LAGAAO --- Sprite

You would like to search for a girl on your own
GO FOR YAHOO SEARCH --- Yahoo.com

You are invited to a party where you come across a lot of girls..
WHENEVER YOU SEE COLOUR THINK OF US --- Johnson & Nicholson

You are altogether confused, as all the girls are pretty
DOOND TE RAHA JAAOGE --- Surf Excel.

At last you find a girl, whom you wish to propose, the chances are..
FIFTY FIFTY --- Britannia Biscuits.

At last you muster up courage and tell her..
I LOVE YOU RASNA --- Rasna

She stares at you for a while and says?
LET’S TALK --- Escotel Prepaid Cellular

During the ensuing conversation she politely refuses your offer...
ZOR KA JATKA, DHEERE SE LAGE ----- Mirinda

And your heart breaks...
IT JOINS EVERYTHING EXCEPT BROKEN HEARTS --- QuickFix

But you still can’t get her off your mind?
GO GET IT --- Visa Power

At last she relents, when you give her
Pyar Ka Naya Funda----- CORNNETTO

Next day you take her for a ride on your bike..
NEIGHBOURS ENVY OWNERS PRIDE --- Onida TV

While going on the bike her father sees both of you and now
TASTE THE THUNDER --- Thums Up.

But at last he also agrees as you are..
MADE FOR EACH OTHER --- Wills

Then comes your marriage and
EVERYONE’s INVITED --- Samsung

During the marriage the pundit recites the mantra?
YEH FEVICOL KA MAZBOOTH JODD HAI TOOTEGA NAHI --- Fevicol

You are anxiously waiting for the first night to come as..
YEH DIL MANGE MORE --- Pepsi.

During the first night both of you want to.
PLAY SAFE --- Bisleri.

So she says to you....
TOUCH TOMORROW --- Air Tel.

Next day comes and you want to..
UNDERLINE YOUR PRESENCE --- Van Huesen Shirts.

She also agrees because ...
YEH ARAM KA MAMLA HAI --- Roopa..

And she says..
JO CHAHO HO JAYE ENJOY --- Co Ca Cola

Then starts ......
THE GOOD LIFE --- Air Tel.

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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 25
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 4:43 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

Q-"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
A-"The efforts began a few Years earlier and the final result were in 1947",he replied.

Q-Who was responsible for our independence?"
A-"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one it will be a injustice to another", he replied.

Q-Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
A-Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report", he replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful Answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they Were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out, naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent
Sardar would not leave him. " At least tell me the answers", he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

Then it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him:

Q-By the way, what is your date of birth?"
A-The effort began a few years earlier and the final result was in
1947."

Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
Q-"What is your father's name?"
A-, "There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one it will be injustice to another".

The interviewer was incensed. "Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied, "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with Certainty only after seeing the report."
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 24
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 4:41 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

This is not a Joke, but good one. Read on...
-------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"Oh Yeah" said the son.
"So what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

With this the boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don't have. What is one person's worthless object is another's prize possession. It is all based on one's perspective. Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have, instead of worrying about wanting
more. Take joy in all you have, especially your friends.
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 23
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 4:39 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!
*******************
Sardarji & Bengali

One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Bengali language within 6 months or we will not be Able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Sardarji: We have adopted a bengali child and it will start to
speak after 6 mths.
*******************

Banta Singh in Heaven

After death, Banta Singh reached the door of the heaven
smoothly.
There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta...It is nice to
Talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a Question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.'
Banta, with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead
and Ask him the damn question.
Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year?
Banta, after lot of thought, answered,'12'.
Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how?
Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........
**************************************

BANTA SINGH - BEST OF ALL

Friend: What are you looking at?
Banta Singh: I know your Password, hee, hee.
Friend: all right, what is my Password if you saw it?
Banta Singh: four asterisks!
******************************

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Banta Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Banta Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the
figure, the
answer is 6!!
*******************************

Banta Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Banta Singh cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Banta Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too!
*******************************

Banta Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Banta Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet
yet!!
*******************************

Titanic is sinking.... Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying,
running or praying to god...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles!?.... then why are these fools making
noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Sardarji : ??????.....
(The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the
layer to ask something again)
Italian : Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards .....
**************************************
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 22
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 4:32 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A Chinese girl had illegitimate sex and produced twins......
Guess the name of the kids
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.

Jo Hua & So Hua
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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 21
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 3:02 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A fourteen-year-old girl goes to see her mom and tells her that
she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
"Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a brand new Ferrari stops at their house, a mature and distinguished man, with grey hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother
and the girl, and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 3 stores, 2 townhouses, a beach villa and a $1,000, 000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of
factories, and a $1,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $500,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage..."
At this point, the father, who had remained silent all the time, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him: "You'll f**k her again!!!"

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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 20
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 2:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.

"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.

"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.

"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"

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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 19
Registered: 03-2004
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 2:57 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

What women think of sex:
at age 8 - ignore it
at age 18 - experience it
at age 28 - love it
at age 38 - ask for it
at age 48 - beg for it
at age 58 - pay for it
at age 68 - pray for it
at age 78 - forget it!

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Sri_nivas
Pilla Bewarse
Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 18
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 2:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the
first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in
the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde's
mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won't move. All
she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New
York."

The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight
attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she
won't move. All she says is, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm
going to New York."

The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious
blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the
plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde's ear.

Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the
pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all
very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.

They ask him and he says, "Oh, it was easy. All i had to do was
tell her that the first class section wasn't going to New York!"





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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 17
Registered: 03-2004
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 2:49 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room
and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old,
how do you honestly feel?''

-Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.

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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 16
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 2:16 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

ALL ABOUT MINDS

Bill Gates - Intelligent MIND
J.F.Kennedy - Extraordinary MIND
Mahatma Gandhi - Peaceful MIND
Bill Clinton - Sex MIND
George Bush - NEVER MIND - LETS WAR
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 15
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 1:09 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

height of laziness: naked man sleeping on naked woman expecting earthquake to do the rest




height of co-incidence: earthquake happens
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 14
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:57 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

ONCE A NUN GOES FOR A URINE EXAMINATION AND THE SAMPLES GET MIXED UP. the report indicates she is pregnant. WHEN SHE GETS THE REPORT, SHE EXCLAIMS, "OH JESUS!! NOW WE CAN NOT EVEN RELY ON CANDLES"
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 13
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:56 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91million at a party and one is reading this message
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 12
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:54 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

wife asks husband:-with how many girls have u slept?

husband:-only with u. with others i was awake the whole night....
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 11
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

two friends go to a prostitute
first friend goes in on coming out he says my wife is much better
second friend goes in on comingf out he says "U R RITE"
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 10
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:48 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Q:- what did GABAR SINGH ask his mother when he was born






























SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER









































































































A:- MA!KITNE AADMI THE RE?????
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 9
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:47 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said, "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation,
A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother, and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became the mother-in-law of her father-in-law.Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half brother.This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the sister of my son, my mother-in-law, is also my grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife.to sum up,I am my stepmother's brother-in-law; my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my own grandfather. And you think you have family problems?"
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again. Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down.
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, ;I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I acccidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.;
Oh Dear!; the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But ... what happened to the other ear?;
The scoundrel called back. SAID SARDARJI;
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.;
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ;Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, and thought, and thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!;
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Asked a person next to him ; What's the matter?; Replied he ;The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else.;
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking?? ' Saala aaj bhi girna padega...;
-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly ;aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho.; Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next destination. On the next day, they find the same Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple curiously asked ;Aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho; sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form.; The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji cooly replied Aare yehttp form mein leekha hey ke FILL IN CAPITALS.
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 8
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Posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 12:42 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Once a husband and wife lived in a old town, they had four kids the first three were slim and had brown hair, the last one was fat and had black hair.

Husband-Darling, I am going to die (he had cancer). Please do tell me is our last child really ours.

Wife-I swear you, he is really ours.
Hearing this the husband died pecafully.

Wife-Thank god, "He didn't ask about the first three..."

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Godfather
Bewarse ke Bewarse!
Username: Godfather

Post Number: 2121
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 62.90.177.204

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Posted on Sunday, May 09, 2004 - 2:44 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

good jokes!!
Kukka vasthae raayi dhorakadhu, raayi dhorikithae kukka raadhu
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Sankar
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Username: Sankar

Post Number: 34
Registered: 04-2004
Posted From: 4.239.75.21

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Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 10:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Are kya nam lagaya mam Deithadi. Dil kush hua chicha.
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Sri_nivas
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Post Number: 6
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Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 10:36 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

What a Crazy coincidence!

One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.

C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.

G. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.

H. What happened to the Indians????

scroll down......

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The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman!
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Deithadi
Vooriki Bewarse
Username: Deithadi

Post Number: 1159
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 134.68.160.124

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Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 10:35 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Srinivas babai, Google translator loni Hidden Easter Egg ni patesavu kadha.

Balei udhi babai
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 5
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.4

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Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 10:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

WHAT IN THE HELL

A desi dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?

"Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work, someone stole all the nails, and the devil used to be a public servant, so he comes in, punches his time-card and then goes back home..."
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 4
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.4

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Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 10:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

GANDHI Ki dhoti

There was just one cinema Theatre in the Village. The village people, though backward were very patriotic. In fact as a Cinema screen the owner of the theatre had installed a khaadi dhoti.

The villagers were very happy with the idea of a Khaadi Dhoti screen. They decided to dedicate the theatre to Mahatma Gandhiji, and Named the theatre: GANDHI KEE DHOTI.

Some of the Up coming attractions at GANDHI KEE DHOTI as advertised in the Local Newspaper were:

Gandhi kee Dhoti mein KACHHE DHAGE.
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein HAL-CHAL
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Daraar.
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Chuppa Rustam.
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Baazigar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Do Jasoos ..
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Aandhi
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Garam Hawaa ..
Gandhi kee dhoti mein American President.
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Hero No. 1.
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Sabse Bada Khilaadi .
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Kuchh Kuchh hota hai.
Gandhi kee dhoti mein Indiana Jones
Gandhi kee dohti mein Raju Ban Gaya Gentlemen.
Gandhi kee dohti mein Josh
Gandhi kee dhoti mein AirForce One
Gandhi kee dohti mein Joru ka Ghulam
Gandhi kee dohti mein Mere Do Anmol Ratan
Gandhi kee dhoti mein Golden Eye
Gandhi kee dohti mein Judwaa
Gandhi kee dohti mein Refugee
Gandhi kee dhoti mein Godzilla
Gandhi kee dohti mein Jungle
Gandhi kee dohti mein Hera Pheri
Gandhi kee dohti mein Koyla
Gandhi kee dohti mein Nothing to Lose
Gandhi kee dohti mein Gone in Sixty Seconds
Gandhi kee dhoti mein aag
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 3
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.4

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Posted on Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 10:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Do following step by step
Go to language tools on google type in "my mom is nice and cool."

http://translate.google.com/translate_t

And convert it from English to Spanish.

Then copy & paste the answer into the translate box
and convert from

Spanish to English



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Deepblue
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Username: Deepblue

Post Number: 180
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 67.163.122.141

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Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:44 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

just kidding bro
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Prasanth
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Username: Prasanth

Post Number: 197
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 203.199.213.5

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Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:25 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

emi DP mama...virakthi kaligindha naa jokesu...baagoledhaa....

ayithe okay..peekincheyyi
chirupawanamahesayanamaha
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Deepblue
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Username: Deepblue

Post Number: 179
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 67.163.122.141

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Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:19 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

prasabth mama,
konni miss ayyaayi

MODS = mogudluaara
DELETE= PEEKI PAREYANDI
THREAD = thaadu

so mods pls delete this thread
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Prasanth
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Username: Prasanth

Post Number: 196
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 203.199.213.5

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Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 8:12 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Telgu Windows!!!!!!!!!

If Bill Gates had plans to release a windows version in Telugu. Here are some Windows related terms that are to be used in the Telugu version of ..........Kitikeelu Renduvelu ( Windows 2000 ):
1.Filu = File
2.Rakshinchandi = Save
3.Ila Rakshinchandi = Save as
4.Annintinee Rakshinchandi = Save All
5.Kaapaadandi = Help
6.Vetakandi = Find
7.Mallee Vetakandi = Find Again
8.Jarapandi = Move
9.Tapaalaa= Mail
10.Tapaalaa Bantrotu = Mailer
11.Daggaragaa Choodandi = Zoom
12.Doorangaa Choodandi = Zoom Out
13.Teravandi = Open
14.Mooseyyandi = Close
15.Krotta = New
16.Paata/Kataraa = Old
17.Maarchiveyyandi = Replace
18.Parigettandi/ Lagettandi = Run
19.Mudrinchandi = Print
20.Choosinataruvaata Mudrinchandi = Print Preview
21.Nakalu Cheyyandi /Kaapi =Copy
22.Kattirinchandi / Chimpandi = Cut
23.Atikinchandi = Paste
24.Pratyekangaa Atikinchandi = Paste Special
25.Tudicheyyandi/ Teesyyandi = Delete
26.Choopu = View
27.Panimutlu = Tools
28.Panimutla Dabba = Toolbar
29.Parachina Vistari = Spreadsheet
30.Bayataku = Exit
31.Chettu = Tree
32.Daggaragaa Cherchandi = Compress
33.Yeluka = mouse
34.Tik Manipinchandi = Click
35.Tik-Tik Manipinchandi = Double Click
36.Ikkada nunci Akkada = Forward
37.Jaarudu balla = Scrollbar
38. Attachments = Anubandhakaalu.
39. Home = Illu
40. History = Charitra Additional Softwares
1.MICROSOFT WINDOWS 2000 - ATISUKSHMA METTATI
(microsoft) KITIKEELU
(windows)AVRUTTI (version) RENDUVELU (2000)"
2. Double Click with the left mouse button [ELUKANU
YEDAMA CHEVI MELI
TIPPI RENDU PEEKANDI].
3. GPF(GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT) - Sarvasaadharana
Surakshanalo
Gadabida.
4. 'This program has performed an illegal operation - "Abort,Retry or Ignore" ? "Ee karyakramam Akramamga Vyavaharinchindi - Aapeyyandi (abort), Marosaari Chesi choodandi ( retry), Vadileyyandi - Daani maanaana Adey potundi (Ignore)" 5. MICROSOFT POWERPOINT - "AtiSukshma Mettati Shakti Binduvu" 6. MICROSOFT WORD 6 - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Shabdamu Aaru" 7. MICROSOFT ACCESS - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Anumati" 8. FOXPRO - "Nakka baava / Jittulamaari Nakka" 9. MICROSOFT VISUAL C++ - "AtiSukshma Mettati Drusya C adhikam marinta adhikam" 10. OFFICE 2000 - "Karyalayamu rendu velu" 11. Internet Explorer - "Antar-Vala Sanshodhakam" 12. Lotus Notes - " Kamala Rekulu" 13. ACCESS DENIED - "Pravesam Ledu" So Be ready to work in Telugu version
chirupawanamahesayanamaha
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Prasanth
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Username: Prasanth

Post Number: 184
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 203.199.213.5

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Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 5:01 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

*continution*

That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must have shot! that lion."
Exactly" Said the Doc.




chirupawanamahesayanamaha
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Prasanth
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Username: Prasanth

Post Number: 183
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Posted on Tuesday, April 27, 2004 - 4:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

*a little adult type...forgive me*

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus
arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at
the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!"

The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!"

================================================== ====

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkups. The doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better," the old
man replied." I've got a twenty-year-old bride who's pregnant & is about to deliver a child. What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.

The doctor continued, "So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and suddenly he spots a lion in some bush in front of him.
He raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle. BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."

That's impossible!" said the old man in disbel
chirupawanamahesayanamaha
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Allarodu
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Username: Allarodu

Post Number: 21
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 38.118.10.38

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Posted on Monday, April 26, 2004 - 1:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Sri_nivas mama

Katti la unnai mama jokes

:-)

Bilkul Allari Chestha ...
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Mrcool
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Username: Mrcool

Post Number: 85
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 24.10.249.184

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Posted on Monday, April 26, 2004 - 12:04 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband s sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Not a chance" says Mrs. Murphy. "He won t even take an aspirin for a headache."

"No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how everything went."

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how her love life has been.

"Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor."

"What happened?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. But it was all so terrible."

"What was terrible?" said the doctor, "Was the sex not good?"

"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I ve had in 25 years, but I ll never be able to show my face in McDonald s again.
Tappani Oppani Tarkame Cheyyanu! Kastamo Nastamo Lekkale Veyyanu
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Sollu
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Username: Sollu

Post Number: 138
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 128.193.4.98

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Posted on Sunday, April 25, 2004 - 11:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

too much unnayi sodara jokes
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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 2
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.4

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Posted on Sunday, April 25, 2004 - 11:58 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to
walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, " What are these, Dad? "
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, " Those are called condoms,
son.... Men use them to have safe sex. "
"Oh I see. " replied the boys pensively. " Yes, I've heard of that
in health class at school. "
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "
Why are there 3 in this package. "
The dad replies, " Those are for high school boys. One for Friday,
one for Saturday, and one for Sunday. "
"Cool! " says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks " Then who are
these for? "
"Those are for college men. " the dad answers, " TWO for Friday, TWO
for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday. "
"WOW! " exclaimed the boy; " Then who uses THESE? " he asks, picking
up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, " Those are for married men. One for
January,one for February, one for March........ "


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Sri_nivas
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Username: Sri_nivas

Post Number: 1
Registered: 03-2004
Posted From: 202.53.87.4

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Posted on Sunday, April 25, 2004 - 11:52 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Types Of Women

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............